it's a wrap!

just another manic monday…

Archive for August, 2007

Scabs

When does it end? When does those wounds heal? When does the scars fade?
You know those scabs you get when you hurt yourself and the skin’s healing? It forms a hard layer, which is termed, scab. It’s a really ugly thing, wrinkly like a dried prune, color of old, dried blood. But from young I’ve always had the habit of picking and picking and picking at it till it hurts like nobody’s business or it bleeds. Most often it’s both.
Now I seriously wonder if I treat my emotions’ well being the same. Reopen the wounds, never letting the fresh wounds heal completely. I’ve read it so many times and yet it hurts, more than the first time, if it’s possible.
I think I’ve let the wound fester and fester and fester till it’s become gangrene. I wish I could cut it off. But how can I live without a heart? Yet, how can I continue living with a lie, a heart that someone has elbowed its way in, yet doesn’t know it? I wish with every might that I could oust them out. But how?
O mighty God how?
*screams of enragement*

There, I guess I can’t very well do the scream of enragement thing publicly seeing I’m in the office and working. Everybody’ll be rushing for the phone, to call the police.

God’ Training Programme

I read my daily devotion early this morning. It was titled “God’s training programme” and it was taken from Genesis when Jacob went in search of a wife from his mom’s brother. Then the story continues with how he was tricked into marrying the elder daughter and not the younger one whom he loved. He worked 14 years in all for both wives. Well, well…there was no law of polygamy during those days.
Anyway, I digress. It was actually talking about how God moulds someone’s character. I am feeling blue today even more so than yesterday. Time of the month and such…
But I know that it’s all part of life. Life can’t be smooth all the time. You see, there’s just this little problem. I know it doesn’t mean I feel it. Ah well…
Some soothing music, going to make me a cup of coffee with a dash of chocolate inside, probably makes the day a little more bearable 🙂 It’s going to be interesting to participate in a “change-out” tonight, though I’m not super crazy about the idea. We start after 10pm. Anyhow, the term means to change a season like we’re changing from summer to fall now. So we have to rearrange the visual merchandising and stock to bring in the coming season.

On a beach, in the rising of the dawn, with the slightly chilly breeeze, i dream of watching these clouds with silver lining with the one that He knows I’m going to be with.


To watch it turn into fieriness as the glorious sun rose from it’s slumber. We can only stand in awe. And watch this miracle which has been occuring from the beginning of time.

I was timidly approaching the Lord in a prayer for a parking space. When He provided I was surprise. I’ve not been communicating much with Him lately. So yes, I was surprised when he answered my prayer.
That almost brought the tears out. But I’ve realized that He still loves me like the loving daddy He always is. He’s always loving, always providing. Even when we are disobedient and continues to defy Him. He patiently provides us grace and waits for us to turn back.

New workplace

First day of work, spent the day learning how to order stationeries 😉 grins…I mean getting used to order the things that the stores and office needs to use. Then I got the warehouse experience. Ermm…with heels, it’s definitely hazardous.
2nd day’s slightly better, although I still spent the entire day in the warehouse, I was in comfortable flats and tshirt. We had to go prepare the outlet for sales. Didn’t get home till midnight!
I was based in the store yesterday. Not too bad. Working tomorrow too. Sighh…ah well…the thing is, I kinda knew that it was gonna be working-my-ass-off job before I joined so I can’t really give the excuse of not knowing. But at the moment, I miss my full weekends!