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just another manic monday…

Archive for January, 2012

PMS

Ok, To be honest, I never actually gave much thought to this when some of friends tell me they suffer from this to explain their mood swings and anger. It was merely a passing thought. I personally have never been much of a victim to mood swings and stuff like that. Until today.

Excerpt from Wikipedia (I love Wikipedia by the way! No to SOPA 😦 )
“Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) (also called PMT or premenstrual tension) is a collection of physical and emotional symptoms related to a woman’s menstrual cycle. The specific emotional and physical symptoms attributable to PMS vary from woman to woman, but each individual woman’s pattern of symptoms is predictable, occurs consistently during the ten days prior to menses, and vanishes either shortly before or shortly after the start of menstrual flow.
More than 200 different symptoms have been associated with PMS, but the three most prominent symptoms are irritability, tension, and dysphoria (unhappiness).”

I called up my best friend and ranted about something, went all emotional and angry, complete with tears and a bit of sobs. In the middle of the conversation I said, I think I have PMS. She replied in a serious tone, “Yes, I think you do too. Because if you take a step back and think about it, it’s actually not that big a deal.”
And I went, hey, yeah, it is not thattttt bad actually. So why was I ALL worked up and distraught? Hmmm. I credit it (or rather blame it!) on the silly syndrome. Nothing to do with my nature at all. *smug

L’arc-en-ciel

L’arc-en-ciel, the arch in the sky literally. it refers to the rainbow.
I cannot quite fathom why colourless, invisible light can be shattered into so many prisms of colour.
I cannot say I have found a singel person who hated the rainbow. But I have encountered many whom even though they have no inkling of it’s symbolic meaning, find hope in it. That is a mystery.
I guess that’s the one more of the many million things that I do not understand.
Oh it’s a good thing. The world loses it’s mystery if everything could be understaood so easily.
I guess that’s why there are many mysteries kept locked up, of some get revealed in due course, of some we will never know the ryhme and reason.
Maybe if all things were revealed, there is nothing left to look forward to, we already know what’s happening. There is no need for hope. NO hope. How dreary a picture that paints. And when there’s hope, then we have faith to sustain us. Faith to lead us through the uncertainties today to hope for a better tomorrow! 🙂

Some days

Some days, I just feel lousy.
Some days, I just don’t want to see anybody.
Some days, I just don’t want to face it all.
Some days, I just feel so bogged down.
Some days, I just feel so listless.
And some days, it gets better.
Soem days, a photo or a picture just captures my attention, piques my interest and I begin to awake from the numbness.
Some days, it’s all I could do to try and stay awake.
Some days, it’s not so easy.
Some days, it gets easier.
Some days, I yearn for my mind to empty of all thoughts.
Some days, counting my blessings makes me being to smile.
Some day maybe, when all this is over, I shall smile with a light, joyful heart again!
Some day…

Section-ing

Maybe I grew up, maybe I matured, maybe I just grew older. Let’s hope it’s growing wiser.
I learnt to section of certain parts of my life. Segregation.
When I was younger, emotional trauma or just plan bad-mood-don’t-feel-like-going-to-school days crop up. I’m not proud to say this, but the emotional grip those days had on me, made me feel rotten and I will just end up skipping school or work once or twice just toe deal with it.
But lately, I’m surprised to find myself being calm and reasonable about it.
Putting myself in my boss’s shoes, I realized that the company does not pay me to have emotional drawbacks or bad days. Work needs to be done and my boss pays me to do it. It is not fair to dump my troubles on the company. According to law that is, they grant compassionate leave, only for close deceased family members. They even grant paternity leave and sick leave. But on no account do they grant, I’m-drepressed leaves, nor I’m-hungover leaves, nor I’m-in-a-bad-mood leaves, nor even I-just-broke-up leaves. Pity, eh?
But that’s the way it is.
Not that in any way, it hurts any less. Yet, I cannot quite figure out wherein the difference lies.
Or maybe I just learnt that the sun does continue rising and setting regardless of how I’m feeling.
Cliche as this may sound. Life goes on.