it's a wrap!

just another manic monday…

Archive for year end


I think this year end’s one of the hardest I’ve ever had to walk through in many, many years. Maybe I forgot to count the blessings and mercies God gives when I had a peaceful and lovely year ends. Maybe this year is just painful.
BUT I’m relieved at the same time. Dragging my feet, reluctant to let go of the destructive things of yore. Isn’t that the very nature of human? Knowing something is bad for you, yet addicted to it, or just used to having it around. Sort of making space for that horrible pain in the joint, walking a certain way to minimize the sharp stab of pain each time you put your foot down.
The result:- walking with a limp.
But, I’m waiting for the day when I’m done with this! I’m waiting for the day when I could just leave it ALL behind, and face it with a smile, look it right in the face and tell it, I’m done now. All cried out, all the past forgiven, yet not forgotten. Goodbye, goodluck. Bade you a fine farewell.
Until then, hurry up and heal, dear heart!

Christmas is upon us

Christmas came upon me suddenly. Oh, I was aware of the passing days, and the dates slipping by. Almost like one playing with a strand of pearls, absent mindedly fingering the pearls one by one and letting them slip along the rope. Before you know it, I had reached the last pearl!
That was the feeling Christmas gave me this year of 2011. I cannot remember taking any good photos of Christmas lights or any thing that made me feel Christmassy this year.
Every single year, I get nolstalgic, remminiscing about the year gone by, wondering what have I done, hoping for a better, more fruitful year. Wondering if I’m getting the gift I yearn for every year. This year, all those listed and more. Feelings of anxiety and a little bit of timidness crept up. I cannot help but hope and wish, hope and wish, hope and wish.
Thoughts unspoken, buried beneath the layers of fear and walls that time has erected, needs to be vocalized,and finally, I think we’re getting there!
And so this is Christmas, for black and for white, let’s hope its a good one, without any tears.
Let’s hope for good tidings, shall we? 🙂