it's a wrap!

just another manic monday…

Archive for hope

Faces of Hong Kong

Some elderly men at the top of the stairs leading to the MTR station, near Causeway Bay. They look upon the world with weariness, as if they’ve seen it all and was tired of them all.
This being one of my favourite photograph. The lady sings her heart out, and she has a oh so sweet voice. She sang, brimming with hope. Ah, yes, she may have been through harsh times, yes, she has loved and lost. But any minute now, when she turns the corner, favour will be upon her and she’ll find joy! Any minute now. She has seen so much of the dreariness of life yet has not lost hope.
A little boy throwing his tantrum in the middle of the wet pavement. It was drizzling. He was pissed! A single glance at the face told me that, but I could not resist taking his photograph as he stomp on the ground. Ahh, the blissful ignorance of a child. Maybe I wouldn’t be so amused if it was my child. But I was amused with this child that particular day. Maybe it was just the holiday mood.

This little girl’s school had just let out. Her mom was speaking to another lady, she was waiting with her hair caught up in pig tails, munching on a snack. Peeking curiously at something, I caught her just at that particular angle. Such a pretty little one, she’s going to grow up to be a real heart-breaker!

what if…

I stretched. I heard bones creaking, I hear little “twacks” coming from my joints, I feel the muscle aches. I allowed those two words to drift into my mind and linger. Interesting how two short, petite words can speak with such volumes. What if…
I allowed my imagination to run a little wild here.
What if I really get to marry the man I love?
What if I really get to have my dreams?
What if I really get to go where I want to go?
What if I really get to experience what I desire most?
What if I really get to have the freedom I want?
The possibility seems endless when I think about it, when I allowed myself the luxury to pause for a moment and think about the “what ifs”.
It’s been awhile.
I welcomed it like an old friend whom I’ve lost touch with. Cautiously, yet the familiarity comforts me, if it was a little rusty. That needs a little work. But maybe, just maybe one day, I could finally say, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!”


L’arc-en-ciel, the arch in the sky literally. it refers to the rainbow.
I cannot quite fathom why colourless, invisible light can be shattered into so many prisms of colour.
I cannot say I have found a singel person who hated the rainbow. But I have encountered many whom even though they have no inkling of it’s symbolic meaning, find hope in it. That is a mystery.
I guess that’s the one more of the many million things that I do not understand.
Oh it’s a good thing. The world loses it’s mystery if everything could be understaood so easily.
I guess that’s why there are many mysteries kept locked up, of some get revealed in due course, of some we will never know the ryhme and reason.
Maybe if all things were revealed, there is nothing left to look forward to, we already know what’s happening. There is no need for hope. NO hope. How dreary a picture that paints. And when there’s hope, then we have faith to sustain us. Faith to lead us through the uncertainties today to hope for a better tomorrow! 🙂

Despair, that darkness

Head groggy from too much sleep. Heart dulled with heartache. Sobs racked my body. Disappointment and pain ravaged my heart. Silent screams filling my mind.
I looked for small mercies. I looked for things to be thankful for. I searched for gratitude to be alive and breathing.
But at this moment, I couldn’t. Couldn’t see beyond that curtain of darkness that has swung around my head and blocked out all light. Try as I might, I couldn’t lift the blanket of despair.
I lifted my arms, I want to call for help.
Now tell me again, why did God make everyone of us long for a soul mate?
What happens when you cannot find he/she? What happens if you have to live alone for the rest of your life? The longing goes unfulfilled. The very darkness that just sucks the life out of you, all that joie de vivre out of your very existence.
I cannot live an hour without it coming to haunt me, cannot go through a day without it returning to taunt me. Time heals? *laughs mirthlessly
It but dulls the sharp edge of pain. I will never quite forget the sharp stab of pain.
Is this my consequence of being too hopeful? Is this my consequence of being too trusting?
Wishful thinking. That was what my mom alwaysss cautions me again. Too much of that too maybe.
In spite of it all, I guess the small sliver of hope, that ray of hope is still trying to penetrate through to my gloominess and my darkness.
I cannot say how long it’ll take it to be able to do it. But eventually, it will. I still say this despite being in the murky, inky gloominess, close to bursting into tears any any point.
My promise stays. If not it, then none at all. I know that none will be able to take the place.
Am I stubborn? Maybe. Am I silly? A little. Am I foolish? Definitely.